As reported in the “Most amus­ing (or aston­ish­ing) text you’ve come across” thread at the Dis­trib­uted Proof­read­ers forum. To find this and more such trea­sure, con­sider vol­un­teer­ing a few min­utes of your time to proof­read a page or two. It’s sim­ple, it’s free, it helps pre­serve the great works of the past, and above all else brings to light the unre­marked gems among the lesser-​​known works.

THE JABBERWOCKY OF AUTHORS

‘Twas gilbert. The kch­ester­ton
  Did locke and ben­nett in the reed.
All mered­ith was the nichol­son,
  And har­ri­son outqueed.

Beware the see-​​enn-​​william, son,
  The lon­don­jack with call that’s wild.
Beware the gertroo dather­ton
 And richardwashburnchild.

He took his brady blade in hand;
  Long time the par­tridge foe he sought.
Then stood a time by the oppen­heim
  In deep mcnaughton thought.

In war­wick deep­ing thought he stood–
  He poised on edith­whar­ton brink;
He cried, “Ohbernard­shaw! I could
  If basilk­ing would kink.”

Rexbeach! rexbeach!–and each on each
  O. Henry’s man­tles fer­ber fell.
It was the same’sif hen­ry­james
  Had wally eaton well.

“And hast thou writ the great­est book?
  Come to thy birm­ing­ham, my boy!
Oh, beres­ford way! Oh, hol­man day!”
  He kiplinged in his joy.

‘Twas gilbert. The kch­ester­ton
  Did locke and ben­nett in the reed.
All mered­ith was the nichol­son,
  And har­ri­son outqueed.

Harry Per­sons Taber.

As seen in The Book of Humor­ous Verse, edited by Car­olyn Wells, 1920. Doran.