Typ­i­fy­ing a once-​​popular, but nowa­days seldom-​​encountered species of turn-​​of-​​the-​​century ephemera, Poets Ranked by Beard Weight has become a rar­ity much prized by bib­lio­philes, and one that still stands out as a par­tic­u­lar curios­ity among the many col­or­ful curiosi­ties of the period. Its author, one Upton Uxbridge Under­wood (1881 – 1937), was a deip­nosophist, club­man, and lit­er­ary mis­cel­lanist with a spe­cial inter­est in ton­so­r­ial subjects.