The cap­tions only, from Joker mag­a­zine of June 1959 (sub­ti­tled “PHOTO GEMS! GAGS FOR STAGS!”). About five long-​​form “jokes” have been skipped.

• “Now, yawn, darling!”
• “My wife has dis­cov­ered this hid­ing place!”
• “Excuse me, dear, I want to remind you that the last buss is at midnight!”
• “He’s unload­ing per­fume for the Harem!”
• SIGHFUL EYEFUL: ROSA DALMAI!
• “It isn’t long after that a man falls into the arms of a woman that he falls into her hands!”
• “Well, I’m not dressed for table ten­nis. Think of some­thing I won’t have to dress for!”
• “It’s the desk—Our neigh­bors are com­plain­ing because it’s so quiet in here!”
• DOLLS & SENSE: BETTY PAGE!
• “If some folks had known they would live to ripe old ages, they would have had a lot more fun in their youth!”
• “I have just the right pre­scrip­tion to go with the water—and it’s at my apartment!”
• EASY ON THE AHS! JEAN SMYLE!
• “You wouldn’t think it to look at me, but I’m starved fro affection!”
• “I guess I am kinda small, but you ought to see the size of my check book!”
• “Yeah, but I don’t like the way they keep hors­ing around!”
• “All evening you were a per­fect gentleman—now I want you to know that I’m per­fect too!”
• SWEET TALK: BIG EYE: CHERRY KNIGHT!
• The aver­age girl seems to think that a flat tire is all right pro­vid­ing that he has the jack.
• “Jud­kins, get your mind back in the gutter!”
• “Do you mind hold­ing them for a minute—I have to dig for change!”
• “I’m going to have a hard time explain­ing this to your son!”
• “Sep­a­rate checks, please—my wife and I just had an argument!”
• “She said she’d do it, if she ever got one, but I never thought she’d have the nerve!”
• “Our skirt blower is out of order, ma’am, I’m just fill­ing in until it’s repaired!”
• SWEET TALK: BIG EYE!
• “When I asked him to give me some­thing that would warm my heart and remind me of him, he pre­sented me with an elec­tric blanket!”
• “On this job, Miss Dib­ble, you’ll be required to show your abil­ity or you will hear from the front office!”
• “What a shame—just when I get to love you madly, you take a beat­ing in the stock market!”
• “It really is ter­rific! The rocket boys ought to use it because Bob is still flying!”
• “My heart is yours, Mr. Van Dyke, but ze rest of me belongs to Pierre!”
• “Here’s to tonight—and tomor­row morning!”
• DOLLS & SENSE: IRIS BRISOL!
• “Co-​​eds,” jests Iris, “are noth­ing but girls who failed to get their men in high school!”
• “Excuse me, ma’am, are you here on the all-​​expense tour, or the econ­omy plan?!”
• “You’re almost in the right place, and that’s plain talk!”
• “I should have brought my camera—it might be a photo finish!”
• “My, Helen, you are a lit­tle high!”
• SIGHFUL EYEFUL: RANDI RYAN!
• “An elec­tion year proves one thing, at least—that pol­i­tics makes estranged bedfellows!”
• “There’s a man in here! I took this tour on the Amer­i­can Plan!”
• “We would like to present Suzy /​ Who has beauty to spare; /​ She’s a frus­trated nud­ist /​ Who found it was more than she could bare!”
• “Good­ness me, does every­one get such good service?!”
• “Are those your views, or those of your sponsor?!”
• “That will teach you to leave a defense­less woman home every night!”
• BE A MEDICINE MAN! When vis­it­ing a sick friend, take along our gal below and paste her to his med­i­cine bot­tle! He’ll now take his med­i­cine like a man!
• “After fly­ing planes all week it’s nice to watch some­one else take off down the runway!”
• “Let’s go to your apart­ment and count your blessings!”
• “…and what’ll we do when he grows up?”
• EASY ON THE AHS: MONA MILLER!
• “The one man who has seen more bathing beau­ties than any­one else is a busy plumber!”
• “You’re the best boss my boyfriend ever had—He never had all this over­time at his other jobs!”
• “I think he’s an extrovert—he’s always putting out!”
• “It’s the only orig­i­nal I own. All the rest are reproductions!”
• “Infla­tion or no infla­tion, the two bucks for a mar­riage license is still a sound investment!”
• “It’s always fair weather when good friends get together!”
• “Well, you can’t type and you can’t take shorthand—how are you on remem­ber­ing things!”
• DOLLS & SENSE:
• “The only thing old fash­ioned about some girls is the cock­tail you find in their hands.”
• “He treated me like a baby—kept feed­ing me a bot­tle all the time!”
• “She sure gives them a fair shake for their money!”
• “Well, I like this out­fit! You’ll either take it or love it!”
• “Any­thing spe­cial you want to tell mother?!”
• “Oh, love is okay, I guess—but Cupid’s dart missed my target!”
• “I save about $2.75 a week by doing my own laundry!”
• “I had to give up the olives—I can’t resist bob­bing for them!”
• EASY ON THE AHS: TANYA ROGERS!
• “A ‘bar­gain’ is some­thing you can’t use at a price you can’t resist!”
• “Sorry I missed see­ing Frank… he must be quite busy around the yard. WHAT’S THAT!!!”
• “There’s a girl who comes within inches of going right to the top!”
• “WATCH YOUR STEP!”
• “You know, Alice, if we really wanted to see Italy, we should have come on our twen­ti­eth anniver­sary rather than our honeymoon!”
• DOLLS & SENSE: ZAHRA NORBO!
• “If a woman loves you, all well and good! Oth­er­wise… well… there is no otherwise!”
• “I thought this dress was too flimsy—everyone knew my name is May!”
• “—And what did the sales girl tell you to do after you put on that sexy perfume?!”
• SWEET TALK: BIG EYE: MARSHA JAMES!
• “Blis­ters can be a badge of character—depending, of course, upon where they are!”
• “Remem­ber you sug­gested, dear, that I invite some of my old friends over for a lit­tle get-​​together while you’re away—well, I did!”
• “Sign on the dot­ted line, please!”
• “I hope that char­ac­ter in the front row who burnt his chin on the foot­lights is all right!”
• “Would you like to sit this one out—or would you want to dance cheek to cheek?!”
• “I have sev­eral very impor­tant letters!”
• “You’re all tensed up—why don’t you relax!”
• “That’s the way with romance! Last night I was rid­ing high—tonight I’ve hit bottom!”
• “I don’t know why I always have to be the girl with the biggest can in these col­lec­tion drives!”
• “If he gets to dic­tat­ing too fast, I put my foot down!”
• “It was nice of you to ask me to become engaged to you, Fred­die, but for one wild moment I thought you were going to ask me to marry you!”
• EASY ON THE AHS: DIANE WEBBER!
• “The smart girl,” Diane would have us know, “is one who keeps her eyes closed dur­ing and her mouth closed afterwards!”
• “That is lit­er­ary speak­ing, of course!”
• DAWN RICHARDS!
• “Mar­ried men may not be the most informed peo­ple, but they cer­tainly are the most!”
• “A dou­ble order of spaghetti and meat balls? Where on earth are you going to put it all?!”
• SHOW OFF! WENDY WELLS!
• “Who­ever thought they would be so early!”
• “I was fed up with my sax­o­phone lessons!”
• “Some girls are really lucky; she mar­ries for the first time, and to a millionaire!”
• DOLLS & SENSE: BETTY PAGE!
• “The best solu­tion for World Peace is to spend more money on face pow­der and not on gunpowder!”